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Multi medium storyteller | Author | Poet | Curator | somewhere between Lauryn Hill, Nola Darling, & Jesus Christ

A few thoughts on what it really means to be the provider.

There is this phrase my husband says. “I’m taking care of my family.” It always rubs me the wrong way when he says it. It’s the “I’m” for me. It screams, head of household. The man provides. I’m the provider. I’m. It makes me feel left out. I kindly remind him almost every time, that we are taking care of our family; because taking care of something or someone goes beyond monetary provision.

This week I found myself thinking about this concept. I can’t remember what I was doing but whatever it was, felt taxing. Laborious even. Like a service…

We don’t need to do a lot of chit chat here. Inspired by a friend, the great Pat Russo, here are 12 lessons I learned in 2020.

You Can Run, But How Long Can You Hide?

For a long time, I tried to hide from myself and my true desires, so I went along with what I thought I was supposed to do. I did whatever felt less scary. Earlier in the year, I almost signed on a dotted line to do something I absolutely did not want to do. …

For centuries,we have been using the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” to express our perception that the lives of others is somehow better than ours. And while I understand the idiom, I’m challenged to believe that in actuality, not only is the grass on the other side NOT GREENER, it’s a completely different color.

For the past few months, I’ve been reflecting on the human desire to have what others have. …

A reminisce on the time anxiety and parenting landed me in the back of an ambulance on a Sunday afternoon.

I remember the days I was afraid to be alone with my kids. The moment I realize my husband would be away for several hours, anxiety would set in.I’d call his phone periodically to check in, hoping he’d tell me he was on his way.

Once, I even called a neighbor to come sit with me for a few minutes. She looked at me strangely when she came through the door. I wasn’t brave enough to tell her I was afraid to be alone. …

Quick ways I calm my crazy while parenting 24/7.

My son peed on the carpet the other day.

A few seconds after I took him off the potty. The few seconds it took me to go grab a pull-up, he peed…on the carpet. I walked into the room just as he was looking up from the stain. He knew he was in trouble as soon as he saw my face. I was over it.

I’d been tired all day. My sleep schedule during quarantine has been crazy so I’d only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before. …

Create An Idea Wall.

Being creative can take hours and hours of processing. From the millions of dreams and ideas that visit us, to the woes of getting them all done; we’re constantly in a state of flux and abandon.

We get stuck sometimes. Harboring on negative thoughts and wishing for change, we often miss opportunities to create beautiful things simply in the name of creation.

I’ve found myself doing this a million times over. While most of us enjoy the process of creating; structure is just as necessary to help us progress towards the life we desire.

My first step, was to create…

What I’ve learned after 7 years of marriage.

We were three months shy of our 7 year wedding anniversary when we sat down in our room, and asked, “Is this it? Has our marriage run its course?”

It was an honest moment. A real moment. We felt off; almost numb like we’d hit a plateau. That night, after doing some research on “the 7 year itch,” we realized we really needed to reconnect.

We’ve officially made it to our 7 year wedding anniversary and I’ve taken time to reflect on some of the things we’ve learned over the years.

I’ve come to the conclusion that each time we…

You don’t own anybody.

I get so tired of hearing people talk about their significant others as if they purchased them from the store. You can’t date my ex. Or you can’t talk to my girl. Don’t stare at my man. It’s ridiculous and it’s getting out of hand.

Some of it is friendly banter and I’ll allow it. But other times, it’s gone so far that we’ve literally restricted people from making their own decisions and condemned them from being free.

I was talking to a friend of mine who told me how badly she wanted to explore things with other people. She…

A conversation about head wraps and appropriation

“Can a white girl wear that?”

She asked me after complimenting the style of my Ankara head wrap. She was one of my favorite white girls. I just liked her. Something about her was annoyingly sweet, hilarious, and so lovable. I wanted to be her friend. Like a ‘someone you go see a movie with’ friend.

She was bustling with smiles every time I saw her and honestly, she just made me feel good. …

365 days of reflection on self obsession.

I’ve only heard the word narcissist used a few times; mostly in reference to the sitting President. Other times, in reference to a person who deems themselves as the most important person in any room, at any given time.

I’ve used it once for myself, as a person who has spent way too much time imagining that I’m the subject of other people’s thoughts and conversations.

A few years into the new year, I had a huge revelation that I’d spent the last 365 days wondering how people saw me and what they’ve said about me. If I felt people…

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